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Living with roommates, whether your student is in the residence halls or off campus, can be a great experience. It may also bring new challenges and responsibilities. This might be the first time your student will share a room or live with someone they’ve never met.��

While many Buffs get along with their roommates, disagreements can happen. This is normal and working through conflict often leads to growth and stronger relationships. Here are some tips to share with your student to help them create a positive living environment and navigate conflict.��

1. Communicate

Encourage your student to get to know their roommate the first few weeks of the semester. They can seek out things they have in common and allow space for differences. Even if your student already knows their roommate well, they should still take time to talk about the upcoming semester and routines. Communication is key to understanding each other’s habits, schedules and preferences.��

2. Set ground rules together

As your student gets to know their roommate, this is a great time to establish ground rules to prevent misunderstandings later. Topics they could discuss include:��

• Guests: Is your student okay with overnight guests? Are there times of the day or evening that they would prefer to not have guests over?��
• Chores: Who’s responsible for cleaning common areas or taking out the trash, and how often? Will there be a schedule for completing chores?��
• Shared belongings: What items in your student’s space will be shared (electronics, appliances, supplies, food, etc.)? Are there certain items that your student prefers not to be shared?��
• Finances: If your student lives off campus and is responsible for rent and utilities, how will those be divided and paid?��

Creating a roommate agreement is an easy way for your student to discuss and agree on expectations with their roommate. If your Buff lives on campus, their resident advisor (RA) will work with them during their first week on campus to set one up. If your student lives off campus, they can use this free roommate agreement template to get started.����

3. Compromise����

During your student’s discussion with their roommate, there might be preferences that could cause conflict or topics that they don't initially agree on. Encourage your student to be open to compromise. For example, if they like to study on Friday afternoons and their roommate likes to invite friends over at the end of the week, could your student study at the library instead of asking for quiet hours during that time? Finding areas of compromise and respecting each other’s preferences can help your student and their roommate both feel more comfortable in their living environment.����

4. Respect each other’s space and belongings��

Living in the residence halls or apartments can mean tight quarters, but your student and their roommate still have a right to privacy and boundaries. Encourage your student to:��

• Ask before they borrow items belonging to their roommate, including food, clothes and toiletries.��
• Share plans with their roommate that might affect them, like if they’ve invited guests over or if they’re going out of town for the weekend.��
• Respect the ground rules that they've set up together—quiet hours, responsibilities with chores, etc.����

5. Address issues quickly and in person����

It’s best to address roommate issues quickly before they fester. Encourage your student to discuss any important topics or reminders with their roommate in person, if possible. Bringing up issues through texting, social media or sticky notes might lead to miscommunication or increased frustrations. A simple reminder to “take out the trash” could become something more than we intended.����

Here are a few other tips to share with your student when it comes to addressing issues:��

• Your student should give themselves time to think through how they can express their needs before approaching their roommate.����
• Using “I” statements to describe how the situation makes them feel is a helpful way to start. For example, “I feel frustrated when guests eat my snacks because it’s hard for me to make it to the grocery store.”����
• Respect goes both ways: they should listen for understanding and ask follow-up questions during the conversation.����

If your student is nervous about talking with their roommate, suggest that they connect with their RA or Conflict Resolution to help mediate the conversation. Remind them that conflict can be a good thing. Even though it may seem daunting, talking it through can lead to a healthier relationship with their roommate.��

6. Find support with campus resources��

Students have access to a variety of resources to help resolve roommate conflict. If your student is ever concerned about their roommate, they can reach out to Student Support and Case Management or Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution for guidance.����