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Growing impatient, I set my longboard on the sidewalk and gave a good push. Seconds later I found myself lying on the concrete. I immediately knew it was bad, the sound I heard, and the deformity of my left elbow was glaringly and painfully apparent. At best it was just dislocated. I have a decent threshold and tolerance for pain, so I stood up, grabbed my skateboard and walked home with my arm tucked into my body. I had skated nine houses down to chat with my neighbor, but a trip to the ER was not in the plan for that Friday evening on the summer solstice. The injury outcome – a dislocated elbow and micro-fractures of all joint bone ends. In the world of accidents and injuries, this was minor, but painful physically and mentally, nonetheless.

Five months later, I am still healing physically, doing physical therapy and processing the experience. Why did it happen and what, if anything, can I learn from it? A partial answer to my question came in the form of a phrase I recently learned of, Amor fati. Translated from Latin it means “love of fate” or “love of one’s fate”, embracing wholeheartedly whatever comes our way in life, including pain and suffering, as something to grow and learn from. It means harnessing our fate and the power it holds to propel us into the growth zone, where the greatest gains for self-development reside. Amor fati is like type two fun elevated, welcoming the challenge, the adversity, while it is happening and then upon reflection, loving and putting into practice what you learned from it.

But embracing one’s fate when it may not be what you would choose for yourself can bring moments of doubt.��We all have them—a period of questioning what we are doing, feeling, thinking, or experiencing, a sense of uncertainty or uneasiness about something in our lives. What we do and how we respond in our moments of doubt can shape who we are as people, as leaders. Will we fold in the face of hardship or push through and find a path to the other side? Can we use adversity and discomfort as a catalyst for self-awareness, discovery, and growth, as an advantage in a future situation? Our moments of doubt are ones that define us.

In the Center for Leadership at ���������� Boulder, a couple of the Leading Self competencies we design our student programs around are self-awareness and resiliency. Self-leadership is about understanding and managing our own emotions, strengths, tendencies and weaknesses,��embracing discomfort and adversity as avenues for personal growth and bouncing back from setbacks to move forward and try again in the future.��

So, what did I learn from my accident, how did I love my fate? Honestly, I haven’t fully distilled the experience and sometimes still curse my aching, stiff elbow. But much like author Alfred Wainwright quipped in his 1973 book Coast to Coast ‘there’s no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing”, I was reminded in my moment of doubt that there aren’t necessarily bad experiences in life, only bad attitudes about the adversity and failures we are enduring. I get to choose my attitude.

Little did I know I’d be getting a lesson in self-leadership that fateful night while riding my longboard down the sidewalk.��