In Case you Missed this in Middle School – How to Exclude People in 7 Easy StepsÌý
At the Center for Leadership, we talk a lot about inclusive leadership. But what if your goal is to actually diminish and exclude others? We got you covered. In case you missed this lesson in middle school, researchers have identified the key behaviors that can make others feel excluded (:Ìý
Hurt: Actual or threats of violence and harassment Ìý
Exploit: Selfishly taking and not sharing resources with others Ìý
Slander: Damaging a person’s social standing Ìý
Differentiate: Othering someone to reduce their claim to the groupÌý
Disengage: Failing to respond and connect with othersÌý
Avoid: Minimizing and avoiding interacting with someone Ìý
Deregulate: Disregarding social interaction norms such as saying helloÌý
It is clear that some of these behaviors can land you in hot water in the workplace. But the more subtle behaviors are hard to prove and can be just as harmful. For example, ostracizing coworkers by disengaging with them or avoiding them can have more negative effects on employees’ sense of belonging, organizational commitment, and engagement than actual harassment (). These behaviors are also more prevalent with 70% of employees reporting being ostracized in the last 6 months compared to only 48% reporting harassment. Avoidance behaviors (even avoiding eye contact and speaking over someone as if they were not there) can increase the exclusion and ostracism that marginalized employees often experience at work. Ìý
Am I actually suggesting anyone engage in such behaviors? Obviously not. But you might unintentionally be excluding your colleagues by inadvertently leaving them out of social interactions, failing to use their name or make eye contact, or minimizing interactions with them. Ìý
Ask yourself these questions – do I ever not give credit where credit is due? Have I ever shared some negative gossip about a colleague? Is there someone I tend to ignore in meetings or even walking down the hall? Ìý
What’s the remedy? Do the opposite:Ìý
Help: Find ways to step in as an ally when you see someone experiencing microaggressions or harmful treatmentÌý
Amplify: Unselfishly share credit and work to promote your colleagues’ voice in meetingsÌý
Sponsor: Try to increase colleagues’ social standing by bringing up their name and their accomplishments when they are not in the roomÌý
INCLUSIFY: Celebrate the unique gifts that each team member brings and show them that they are an essential, valued member of the team  Ìý
Engage: Respond to and actively listen to others while they are speaking Ìý
Identify: Form close, personal relationships with members of your teamÌý
Regulate: Alter your behavior to treat others the way they want to be treatedÌý
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This list and this article is based on an article I coauthored with , CEO of Equision Consulting. Ìý
Rahim-Dillard, S., & Johnson, S. K. (2023). Inclusive leadership is key to creating equity for women of color. In A Research Agenda for Gender and Leadership (pp. 155-173). Edward Elgar Publishing.ÌýÌý
Kerr, N. L., & Levine, J. M. (2008). The detection of social exclusion: Evolution and beyond. Group Dynamics, 12(1), 39–52. Ìý
Wesselmann, E. D., & Williams, K. D. (2017). Social life and social death: Inclusion, ostracism, and rejection in groups. Group Processes and Intergroup Relations, 20(5), 693–706. Ìý Ìý
Williams, K. D. (2007). Ostracism. Annual Review of Psychology, (58), 425–452. Ìý
Rahim-Dillard, S., & Johnson, S. K. (2023). Inclusive leadership is key to creating equity for women of color. In A Research Agenda for Gender and Leadership (pp. 155-173). Edward Elgar Publishing.Ìý